I have been an agnostic and a great skeptic of any mystical beliefs for most of my life. I considered people who believed in things, like the existence of an inner intelligence guiding us, not to be sane. One day a friend described for me how he deciphered a dream where God spoke to him. Having eaten more than my fill from the banquet of my father’s cynicism, I countered with my own “special” dream. I told him how I had spent the night dreaming I had eaten a giant marshmallow. I professed I didn’t know the dream’s meaning but, after waking, I discovered my pillow was missing.read more
As a young child, I had no choice but to rely on those more powerful than me to decide my fate. My parents, of course, played that role in Cuba until I was ten. When mom and dad sent my brothers and I to the United States to escape from Castro’s Cuba, that role was handed over to the authorities running Operation Peter Pan, an American government program that assigned unaccompanied Cuban children to orphanages in all fifty states. When we were sent to Sacred Heart Home In Colorado, I had to rely on the priest and staff in charge of the orphanage. Four years later, the role returned to my parents when we were reunited and moved to Denver.read more
I have written before about our human tendency to see ourselves as inferior, not good enough, not worthy. Having spent the past few years confronting this negative self-belief, I stumbled across something important, this damaging concept is rooted in something we hide about ourselves. Perhaps it is a terrible event that happened in childhood, or one that caused a painful loss. Perhaps it is something about you that is judged negatively by religious dogma. Whatever it is, this hidden part of yourself keeps you living a limited life and keeps you away from your authenticity. I will illustrate this point by sharing a personal story.read more
It Is Not About Whether One Sees the Glass as Half Full or Half Empty, It Is About How One Chooses to Evolve
There is a lot to learn about a person from the way they handle trying times. The old saying about the way we describe a partially filled glass of water might predict optimism or pessimism in the observer, but it does nothing to speak of how a person handles themselves during tough times. I believe I am positive person, but I was mediocre in the way I dealt with difficult life events in the past. Ultimately, I get through them, but not without a lot of kicking and screaming along the way. In my twenties and thirties, an old joke went around that seemed to speak to my situation. Here is how it goes.read more
Life transitions really, really suck! They are always there waiting in every corner of your life to bite you in the ass. Neither age nor wisdom grants you immunity from them. Transitions are some of the most frustrating times in life and every individual will go through them sooner or later. Yet, regardless of the upheaval they cause, transitions are an integral part of our human evolution. Without them we would remain in our own comfort zone and rot
I never met Tom Petty, but his music was transformative for me. Some of my favorites were Free Fallin’, Refugee, Learning to Fly, You Don’t Know How it Feels, to name a few. But the one that moved me the most
was I Won’t Back Down. The song became my recalcitrant anthem that was a retroactive middle finger to anyone who ever made my life more difficult. Every time I heard the song I could take myself back in time to flip Fidel Castro off for taking everything my family owned. I flipped off my high school counselor too for insisting I didn’t have the smarts to become an engineer. Even my old boss who laid me off got a well deserved f-bomb. The song also worked in this manner for all kinds of future situations. It made me the hero battling the dragons of my own making.
The strangest thing happened to me recently. I was busy writing my blog for the week when a giant crab—shown in the picture above—startled me by scratching on the sliding glass door. I named him Karkinos after the giant crab in Greek Mythology that the goddess Hera placed among the stars to make up the constellation known as Cancer (my birth sign)read more
I have mentioned several times in my blogs about learning to love yourself if you want to find true love with a
partner. For some of my readers, this term is too vague, and they have requested I explain further what I mean by the phrase “learning to love yourself”.
I thought I would change the subject from my last several blogs and go back to reflecting on my dating experiences and my attempts to connect with a more authentic self. This is the topic of my new book coming out soon titled “Catch and Release – One Man’s Improbable Search for True Love and the Meaning of Life.”read more
Mother Nature has sure flexed her muscles these past few months with her deadly winds, devastating floods and catastrophic tremors. The loss of life and property has been unfathomable and it is hard to see a silver lining in the midst of the rubble.read more